Some people are happiest staying where they are, and some people are happiest on the road to somewhere else. We never know when or where we are going to hear something that resonates deeply. This one landed squarely for me, and it was something I heard in passing while channel surfing one evening. Which category do you fit in? Maybe you fit in one or the other at different stages of your life.  I realize that I fit in the second category, (happiest on the road to somewhere else) and have started to look inward in order to determine what that’s about. For years I thought it was because I wanted to try different things. This may have been true, though there are definitely times when I have been running away from someone or something. Maybe I have even been running away from myself.

The door to self awareness and self knowledge opens inward. Sometimes it is a door that is easy to open, but for me the door has been large, heavy, and made of ancient wood. As I continue to lean into the process, I am finding it a titch easier at times. I have “greased the hinges”, and the door opens easier these days. I didn’t do it alone. I needed, and still need help to get that door a’swingin’. I remember sitting in my counsellor’s office in tears, shoulders hiking up towards my ears, and my guts churning as I thought about what I might find when I looked inward.

As it turns out, facing the discomfort and the fear I experienced through the process of looking inward provided me with an opportunity to start taking full responsibility for my life. I am no longer willing to blame anyone or anything outside of me for the aspects or condition of my life. By the way, I found a whole lot of really cool stuff in there and not just deep dark thoughts, wounds, and archetypes.

Are you wondering? Are you ready? Yes, there are some things you need to do on your own. But not all of it. Find something or someone to partner with or guide you. Not everyone needs a counsellor, but if you are thinking about it, why not try it. Someone I know once said “if it’s snowing on the Coquihalla and you’re thinking of chaining up, pull over and chain up”. Trust the “nudge”; it could be that inner knowing self that we so often ignore or neglect. There is good and useful information available to you right inside of yourself. Your Self. And, you will never know unless you try. You can always take the chains off if you don’t need them. MH